Tag Archives: Dream

Wanted to be a painter

I want to be an artist when I was young, but didn’t make it, because I was blind. I often doubt that they have all kinds of problems, always suspected wrong, for example, I suspect that they have a mental disease, sleep, and so on, are not. Therefore the correct way of doubt is: when you want to be a painter, suspect that he is color blind; want to be a musician, suspected he was deaf; to be a thinker, suspect that he was such a big fool. You wouldn’t want to be that person if you don’t have that problem. Of course, I want to be a painter in addition to color, there are other. These things I will say slowly.
A few years ago, we went to Europe to play summer. At that time, I was a student, I took the summer vacation to play, and I went to my wife, she is also a student. I also worked as a worker, teacher, etc, but when I was a student, I was a student. We visit all kinds of places, and finally to Belgium, Brussels has a modern art gallery, although we do not understand the modern painting, but also to see, said we are a culture of people. The gallery was built under the ground, like a big wells, a spiral from the top to the bottom of the corridor. I walk along the corridor, on the left is the transparent glass walls, the right side is the white walls, the modern paintings hanging on the wall. I walked to the front of a painting by Daly, he painted those empty towers, lower limbs slender, stretching to the cloud men and horses. My right hand suddenly cramped, I do not know what made the index finger huzuohuyou,. Later I discovered that it was struggling to write a traditional word for the word. This problem has been done before, and my dreams, often dream of the red brick wall have a word, like a huge tau. Then I sat in the gallery for a long time, thinking of a small thing. When I was young, I was living in a university, and I ran out of the house one morning and saw a big sign on the brick wall. “For one zero seven zero”, I remember clearly, even though the idea was very clear, but I didn’t know it at the time. I remember the word for word like tau, like a cow tail. If you consider the tail of the antecedents, will think of those little home a riot of colours. I along the wall and walked to the east the playground of the school, there are so many giants to and fro, wearing helmet, holding a spear. I still remember that day is purple, there is a voice of the old down from the sky to the eardrum rupture, so I always stand down, cover your ears, the sound block in the outside. I still remember the time when I was told that the baby was going home, the danger. Generally speaking, I am very timid, I heard the danger, they will hide, but there are exceptions, it is in the dream. I don’t kill a few people without a dream. At that time, I decided that at present is an interesting dream, so I went along with my smile and walked into the wonderful world. To tell the truth, then I saw and Dali painting very similar point. In fact, Daly in 1958 had never been seen China, iron and steel. But he hasn’t seen the steel, may also see other. Thus I of super realism produced a concept, that is some people, childhood and they have a crooked tunnel of time. Of course, it can not be said, it is Don’t Get Around Much Anymore.
Fifty-eight years I go to the playground and go to some strange building, on top of the buildings have many strange shapes of the Yellow chimney, the smoke purple smoke. Those who smoke into the sky, and the purple sky together. This gave me a surreal idea, the sky is coming out of the chimney. But I’m not Daly, I can’t paint the sky on the chimney. In addition, there are a mysterious humming, as if I am in the middle of tens of thousands of flying dung beetle. Later I went to the square, the strange scene disappeared, leaving only a flat square, this phenomenon called I was ecstatic, think this is my dream, is unique to me, so besides me, who also have not heard that came down from heaven and ear splitting voice. With the sound of an unearthly cry, and I have a lot of people flocked to a strange in front of the house, others with spears on the wall tie a hole, from the inside to pick out one regiment red strange things to, something that looks like is a bit like Saqi Ma, somewhat like the cow dung, from afar, feel face burns on, all the people around it was ecstatic, the scene like a primitive religious rites. Now I know, that was the steel steel, is composed of iron pieces. –
– my brother was read in elementary school, he often and a bunch of children of the same age together, ran to a nearby farmer home, shouting “iron and steel”, the others rice pan Jie go, throw poor a dime, and the wok get smashed on the square the — not mixing, scattered on the ground like some broken glass and refining after would stick together. But I thought I was dreaming, ecstatic, although there are a lot of people around, but I think only their own the ecstatic, because since it is a dream, all others are false, only I was really. This ecstasy, and Dali paintings on canvas as like as two peas. Wait until later that the others experienced Daliangangtie, I feel very disappointed.
Later in the gallery in Brussels, I saw a naked man in the painting of Daly, in the lower left corner as cheerful as a lark. That man is probably his own. Although I didn’t go to Spain, but I know there are a lot of strange tower, also some collective neural carnival, to a time when everyone is dressed oddly. So I did not have to see what he was three years old strange phenomenon, thought he had a strange dream, silly happy. Carnival this concept is not difficult, to the age of four or five will be able to understand. What is the meaning of iron and steel, is in his teens but also can not understand. I was five two years old, six years five eight, when I was living in a university. So I also can not understand how croaking tweeter, buzzing is blower, one zero seven zero is a year to a chain of 107 million tons, the giants are some college students, the long gun in the hand is drill rod used in steelmaking, as for Wah Wah invoke the small soil group, a small ocean group is something. I couldn’t understand; not to mention that thing not end, then things in memory disappeared, it is more like a dream. Until I was twenty years old, a scar on the small arm, only to think of it completely. That day, I read the tapping and walked back, in steel on the edge of a fall, the ingot in a pot stubble to my little arm difference a chop it into two halves. This matter is too bad, so stay in memory, with Freud’s statement called depression. Pressed for more than a decade, I thought again, that day I not only shed a lot of blood, and my father is carrying the ears to take me to the hospital. I don’t blame him for that. We have more children, if everyone put his arm cut, no money to eat. Then I think the old, in the oven chain for several hours, the pan film is also to cut my hand, from the perspective of the metallurgy, the stove can be enough to cool. I consulted a teaching professor of metallurgy, open hearth with soil for five eight years, in the end can not steel. First he told me, because as long as you don’t drum the cold air, but the drum of pure oxygen does not burn coal, Mozi, but burn high-quality coke, can achieve steelmaking temperature. And later he told me not to. Because at that temperature and soil open hearth will turn the. Although the soil with open hearth soil, but the soil is not refractory clay brick, it is. On top of those strange chimney is some coarse pottery pipes, that sort of thing, not steel-making is used to build sewer, a steelmaking on the day. Everyone has the heart of shame, a big steel-making in the past, people put stove split light and ground pressed flat, making as if nothing has not happened. But there are still some trace, in the yard some remote places, in the middle of the weed can find some bricks, the brick is full of solidification of bubbles, black tumor, like the sea those covered with barnacles, oyster shells, the reefs, which suggested cool stove can burn bricks. These grotesque bricks give a very deep impression. Like this thing, I found it in the gallery. Like this memory we all have, but no one to mention nor to draw, so we put them all forgotten. I think of these things, that I have enough energy to be a painter. And like me, a person who has such a strange childhood, in addition to being a painter, really can not think of what is more appropriate. But I’m not as a painter, because I was blind. It was not until I was twenty-six years old, and I didn’t even know it. This shows that I wasn’t blind, at most a bit seruo. But the doctor checked out. So I didn’t go to art, and I turned to math.