You're Hired! You're Fired!

I once wanted an assignment writing for a sports betting blog. I wrote up a couple of (fake) press releases as samples of my work.

On my resume, I wrote about all the (real) sports I had participated in or followed and the (real/fake) kinds of wagers I had made over the years.

Did I have any experience blogging about handicapping or odds making or money lines? Heck no. And I didn’t pretend I did.

Did I get the job? Heck yes. And as I’ve written previously, I always try to deliver more than expected, so the client was delighted with my work.

It’s my firm belief that anybody can look good on paper. It doesn’t take much talent to write up a resume that glows. It’s also pretty easy to put together a decent portfolio of work without having published anything at all.

The trick is to stay hired once your proposal is accepted.

My client at AlfaBlue recently hired five fitness writers to deliver articles related to physical workouts. The RFP specifically mentioned the need for “special expertise in the area of fitness and exercise.” Many of the 32 writers who submitted bids had backgrounds as personal trainers.

There was one proposal, however, that came from a “team” of writers. They stated that “every written piece is reviewed several times so that you receive a fine-tuned final draft.”

I’m not a big fan of writing by committee. It tends to lack personality. But their bid was among the lowest and the client decided to give them a chance. A week later, I was asked to review their initial submission and provide some feedback.

Well, in a group of writers who supposedly review one another’s work, how did this little ditty slip by? They wrote:

“How many times does a person actually use the rowing machine or treadmill they have purchased for their home?”

Last time I checked, “a person” can’t be a “they.” And what’s with the stilted third person anyway?

I suggested they clean up the grammar and use second person. “How many times will you actually use the rowing machine or treadmill you purchase for your home?”

The next article they submitted, after supposedly reading my comments, contained this charmer: “(It) helps to regulate a person’s metabolism which results in them burning more fat.”

Oy vey.

The same document also featured this carefully worded wonder: “By doing a full body workout, you not only gets great abs (through abdominal exercises) but also a great upper body to go along with it.”

You gets? Abs = it? Wow.

If they wanted to get hired and fired quickly, that was certainly the way to do it. Over-promise, ignore feedback and then under deliver.

In my next Diary post, I’ll tell you about the best of the five writers that got hired for that assignment, and why she’s going to be making lots of moolah for her words in the months ahead.

T.A.J.